


six degrees of separation

by burgerkang



Category: Day6 (Band)
Genre: Angst, Heartbreak, M/M, Unrequited Love, can you tell im new at this, jae lowkey being a jerk, lowkey wonpil cameo, my sad feelings manifested, rated teen for like language and vague alcohol, sungjin being the supportive dad friend
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-28
Updated: 2017-06-28
Packaged: 2018-11-20 07:07:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,074
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11330934
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/burgerkang/pseuds/burgerkang
Summary: Brian Kang had taken a leap of faith. Influenced by the vodka coolers in his system, sure, but a leap of faith nonetheless.





	six degrees of separation

**Author's Note:**

> inspired by the song "six degrees of separation" by the script and also my emo jaehyungparkian feels.
> 
> this is my first time posting on ao3 im new pls dont roast me
> 
> ((cross-posted on wattpad))

1° —

Jae Park was a strange man, at least that was what Brian Kang thought when they had first met. Of course, they met in an unconventional way. It was a pretentious hipster café with an all-wooden interior, made to trick fancy beards and man-buns into thinking they were cooped comfortably in a log cabin. (No, Brian didn't frequent such a place often. Yes, Jae certainly did. He claimed it was for 'inspiration,' but the only truly inspiring thing in side of those cafés was how long and well taken care of the beards were.)

Brian had first spotted Jae scribbling furiously in one of those faux leather-bound notebooks that were meant to look rustic. It was difficult not to stare at the head of badly bleached blond hair that seemed so out of place in the café, as it was clearly not done in a salon. Brian wondered if the poor man had bleach burns on his scalp, or if he had done it enough times before to avoid that and had just never improved stylistically. After Jae had glanced up and ended up locking eyes with Brian in an awkward, _is he staring at me or gazing off into space?_ manner, the two had somehow struck up a conversation.

That was how Brian found out how strange Jae was. Strange, in an incredibly endearing sort of way. Actually, Brian found everything about Jae to be endearing. From the patches of hair he had missed when bleaching his hair, to the way he jumped from one idea to the next when talking. To Brian, Jae sounded and looked like California; which just so happened to be where he came from.

What was a Californian man doing in an overpriced hipster café in Toronto? Well, Brian had no idea. He figured he never would know to be truthful, as in all of the time that followed, Jae had never once mentioned the reason. However, he did say he missed the sunshine and beaches and even the cockroaches that lived with him in his old apartment. Brian never took the yearning in Jae's voice to heart, though. Maybe that was why he was so hurt when Jae ended whatever they had and moved back to his home state on very little notice. Yes, that was it. It had nothing to do with the fact Brian Kang was head over heels for the badly bleached idiot—because he wasn't. _Not. At. All_.

At least, that was what he told himself. In reality, it would take someone who had no sight to see him as being anything other than utterly heartbroken. He had locked himself in his bedroom for days after Jae left. He didn't even get to say goodbye to the man that had been by his side for a year and a half. All Brian could think was that there was absolutely nothing worse than a broken heart, no matter how much he denied that that was the case.

Brian had class in only twenty minutes, but his motivation was drained. He was completely distraught. How he wished Jae would pop out of nowhere and walk him to the university and share his brilliantly stupid theories about the universe and all things within it. The teary twenty-one year old pulled his bedsheets over his head and attempted to dispel all thoughts of Jae Park. He couldn't afford to think about him with how much his heart ached. His missing friend wasn't the only thought weighing on his conscience. It wouldn't hurt to miss one day of school, right? Class could wait until Brian's heart healed even the slightest bit.

 

 

2° —

Brian had lied to himself. A broken heart was far from the worst part of Jae leaving. The absolute bane of his existence was the people around him asking where his friend had gone. They speculated about Jae's reasoning once informed upon his leave to California. Certainly he was only visiting relatives and would return in a few weeks. That was hard to believe considering he had left two weeks prior, and Brian was pretty sure that if Jae had any responsibilities left in Toronto, he would be back by now, right?

"Dude, why are you so down about it? Weren't you guys just friends?" Sungjin had interrogated Brian after noticing his increased ice cream and ramen noodle intake and correlated decrease in leaving their shared apartment. It couldn't be university causing such a drastic change in Brian. Midterms were still a month away.

"Am I not allowed to be sad over a friend?" Brian had spent less time wallowing in sadness all alone lately. Now, he had invested his feelings and time into cheesy rom-coms and horribly written soap operas. He had almost finished all of the available ones on Netflix, though, and he needed some new escape sooner than later.

Sungjin sighed in that disappointed parent sort of way. Sometimes it scared his roommate just how much he reminded him of his own dad. "Being sad over a friend is different than be sad over someone you're in love with, Younghyun." Then, as an afterthought he added, "Sometimes I wonder if you're oblivious or just really good at acting like you're oblivious."

Neither of them said anything more. There wasn't a need, to be frank. Sungjin had totally knocked over Brian's facade of _sad over a friend_. How Sungjin could see right through him, Brian had no clue. All he knew was that he was grateful for such a strangely fatherly roommate, even if he was occasionally overbearing.

 

 

3° —

"Don't you have his phone number?" Now was not a time Brian appreciated Sungjin. He had been bugging him to find a way to contact Jae, as if talking to him would help with the hurt somehow. Wasn't time the only cure for heartbreak? It had only been a month and a half, and Brian didn't want to push it by texting the suspect in the case of his murdered feelings.

Of course Brian had Jae's phone number. He had considered the man his best friend (amongst other things) for a significant amount of time. However, he was stubborn. He didn't want to be the first to break down and text out of desperation. He wasn't the one that completely destroyed his own heart by moving to a totally different country. No, the one responsible should be the one to apologize for such a rift in communication.

No matter how much Brian missed Jae, he wouldn't do it. Even if he wanted to hear Jae put his thoughts into the disconnected sentences and airy afterthoughts he used when he was thinking hard about something. Even if he wanted to witness Jae's rapid blinking behind his signature giant glasses when he resurfaced from inside of his own mind. Even if over a screen with shitty camera and microphone quality. No, Brian Kang wouldn't do it. No chance.

"You really should at least say hi." Convinced Sungjin with one of those _I know you're too soft to resist_ smiles. He had won before he even started to persuade and he was well aware of it, and Brian was really going to do it. His stubbornness had been overpowered by his damn feelings. Why must those feelings exist and how on earth are they so strong?

And so, Brian took out his cellphone and clicked onto the contact he had regarded as forbidden since the person behind it had disappeared. Should he call or text? Was video calling too desperate? Fuck, this was more difficult to do than he anticipated. The almost twenty-two year old settled with a simple _hey_ and clicked send with a slightly shaky thumb. It took a mass amount of willpower not to chuck his phone against the wall after doing so, and the fact Sungjin was watching with his hawk eyes definitely was a contributing factor as to why he did not.

Brian Kang waited.

And waited.

He waited for hours, days, weeks.

Jae Park never did reply. No _hey_ back. No _how are you doing?_. No _sorry for ditching you in Toronto after convincing you that we were best friends_. Definitely no _I kinda love you too_.

 

 

4° —

Four months. Yes, that was how long it took Brian to thoroughly convinced himself that he was _over_ Jae. He had moved on—not into a new relationship, but into a new stage of life. One that had nothing to do with an inability to dye hair nor anything to do the entire state of California. He was a changed man. Reborn. Into a blander life without a trouble prone, café hopping, obliviously heartbreaking jerk.

He had reburied himself in a forgotten interest. He had found his old bass guitar in the very bottom of his closet after Sungjin had ordered him to clean it out and investigate for the mysterious smell haunting his room. No, the bass guitar was not what smelled. That was the responsibility of the long forgotten, half-eaten granola bar to the left of the guitar. The granola bar was beside the point (both literally and metaphorically) as Brian had rediscovered a passion for bass slapping and passive-aggressive dance moves under the disguise of a rockstar. Rockstars were never judged for dancing badly, except when their instruments were not near them.

Brian learned and perfected various genres, although it was very difficult to play _The River Flows In You_ on bass. Somehow, he managed, and he made it a goal to perform. He shared everything he learned with Sungjin, who cheered him on even when he wasn't particularly listening. Good old Sungjin Park, the textbook definition of a barbecue dad who wants to be there for his kids. Or in this case, his twenty-two year old roommate.

To make sure Brian believed in his own message that he was over Jae, he even learned the Californian's favourite song on bass. Yes, what a perfect way to hammer home that Brian. Was. Over. Jae. Or maybe it was a secret hope that if he was to ever see him again, he could impress him with his favourite song. No, that's not true. It was most definitely for the first reason.

"Sungjin, are you busy?" Brian asked one day after noticing the acoustic guitar hung on one of his roommate's walls. Sungjin glanced up from his phone for a second to survey the urgency of the asker. A quick once-over gave him the consensus that Brian was not only there to be annoying, so Sungjin took the bait by shaking his head.

That was how Brian managed to persuade his uptight roommate to start a duet band with him. Of course, he didn't phrase it like that. He simply wondered if Sungjin would learn some songs with him for fun, to which he agreed wholeheartedly. They didn't spend enough time together anyway, he said.

That was also how Brian and Sungjin began busking illegally on the streets of Toronto. Sungjin didn't have to know that little detail of law, though.

 

 

5° —

Brian couldn't help it, he completely froze up. His bass guitar felt heavier than ever before and his fingers just didn't communicate with the strings well enough to carry on with the song. Yes, Sungjin would be upset with him later, but at that moment, a small scolding was the least of his worries. Not when Jae Park was directly across the street from the busking duo in all of his post-California glory.

Had he changed in the five month absence? Certainly. His hair dyeing had improved by a long shot, and there seemed to be no patches of black missed on his entire head. He had swapped out his favourite large-framed glasses for smaller, circular ones that showed off more of his face. Perhaps he had gotten more confident after his time spent in California, because he only wore the wide glasses to cover his insecurities. No, that wasn't it. He had probably broken his old glasses and that was why he donned a new pair. Brian needed to stop overanalyzing things.

However, that was not going to happen anytime soon. Once the busker tore his eyes away from the face he missed _so damn much_ , he saw the short, delicate woman beaming up at him. He didn't miss the way Jae gazed at her with a look of pure adoration as she walked through the door of the hipster café ahead of them. No, this wasn't happening. Not on such a nice day when the sun was shining and the crowd was cheering and Brian felt content for the first time in five months. Maybe Brian just wasn't meant to be happy.

Despite the sudden shock, he managed to pick the fragmented song back up and pull it from the gutter by its fingertips. Sungjin ended the set earlier than usual, with a reassuring smile and a _see you next time_.

"What happened? You can play that song while asleep, Brian!" There came the scolding the bassist had been anticipating. Then, there was a gentle tone. "You're so distant. Are you feeling okay?" A quick shrug of the shoulders led to packing up and carting themselves home. That was when Brian broke down and Sungjin panicked.

"He's back!" Hopeless wailing filled the apartment's living room. "He's back and he's moved on! Who am I kidding? He never loved me, not the way I love him." The older roommate hugged Brian and held on tight. There was no room for questions about who _he_ was or what Brian meant by _the way I love him_ in present tense. The slip had confirmed that Brian had never actually gotten near to over Jae. "I'm sorry, I'm so pathetic and gross and I should just shut up and—"

Sungjin tore himself away from Brian to look him directly in the eyes. "Kang Younghyun! Don't talk about yourself like that. If anything, we should be shit-talking about Jae. I mean, he left you for California and then came back without telling you. He's an asshole, okay? An asshole with bad hair and even worse decisions." Brian couldn't argue with his roommate except on the point that Jae's hair was decent now. "He didn't even tell you why he was leaving, or when."

"I think I know why he left, though." Brian broke eye contact in case he caught disappointment on Sungjin's face. Brian had been lying to himself this whole time. He had made their friendship awkward before Jae upped and left. Was Brian going to tell Sungjin the reasoning behind Jae leaving? No, not today at least. He wasn't quite ready to admit out loud that he had majorly fucked up. He would save that secret for another time.

"I can see that you're blaming yourself." Sungjin let out a signature sigh and went to put his guitar back into his bedroom. "Whatever you did, it couldn't have been a good enough reason to drop everything and disappear for five months, Brian."

 

 

6° (pt. 1) —

It was late on a Saturday, when school wasn't looming over the two friends and they could afford to do something stupid. That something stupid just happened to be getting drunk in Brian's bedroom while watching the first season of _The X Files_ on some mildly illegal downloading site. Jae quite possibly had the lowest alcohol tolerance on the planet, especially for being as tall as he was.

All of Jae's thoughts were leaving his mouth without the normal filters his mind put into place. Brian had to keep himself from giggling at how blunt all of his comments had been so far. "Mulder's kinda hot." He declared and turned to look at Brian beside him. "Y'know what? You sorta look like Mulder." He trailed off.

"How do I look like Mulder?" Brian couldn't help but laugh at the comparison. Fox Mulder and Brian Kang did not resemble each other at all. Unless the similarity was that they were both _kinda hot_.

Jae pushed his glasses further up on his nose and faced the laptop in front of them to watch the show. "You have a similar face shape, I don't know. You just remind me of him." Brian rolled his eyes and took a sip from his drink. Jae continued to ponder about all of the ways Brian looked like Mulder while staring directly at him.

Two minutes had passed before Jae brought it up again. "I figured it out!" He exclaimed with an accomplished smile on his face. "Neither of you have a top lip." Brian scrunched up his nose at this remark and looked at Jae, who was still gazing at what was apparently the defining feature of both Brian and Mulder. Was it wrong that his eyes fell on Jae's too?

Under normal circumstances, _The X Files_ would be much more interesting. However, all Brian could now focus on was Jae. He looked beyond adorable with a loose sweater and messy hair that stuck up in all directions. Although this wasn't the most romantic situation ever—sprawled across the floor in front of Brian's laptop—something just clicked in his mind. He realized just how he felt about Jae Park. He took a chance, with Mulder and Scully arguing about aliens in the background, by leaning over and gently pressing his lips to Jae's. Well, as gently as someone who had multiple vodka coolers in their bloodstream could.

Certainly one hundred percent sober Brian would never do such a thing, especially to one hundred percent sober Jae. However, the normal guidelines of Brian's morals and actions got a little bit foggy when injected with alcohol and shaken (not stirred) with a time past midnight.

To his surprise, Jae kissed back. Clumsily, but it was a sign of hope regardless. Unfortunately, drunken hope was very different than sober hope. The two fell asleep on the floor of Brian's bedroom not long after, but when he woke up to an empty room and an emptier heart, he knew he had fucked up with that leap of faith.

 

 

6° (pt. 2) —

"You need closure." Was what Sungjin advised after Brian recounted the memory from what seemed like years ago. A few days before, he was cursing out Jae with every remotely negative word in his vocabulary. Now, he was ordering Brian to go find Jae and make casual conversation with him. Brian didn't quite understand how Sungjin's thought process functioned, but he followed the suggestions given by him nonetheless.

That was how Brian found himself outside of the front door of Jae's old apartment. Was this a good idea? He had no idea yet. Only time could tell, really. Was Jae still living here? No clue, although he would have to be either filthy rich or extremely stupid to pay five months of Toronto-priced rent and not even live there for those five months. Brian would rather move into a tiny storage unit and then find a new place when he came back than do such a thing.

Standing outside of the apartment and shifting from one foot to the other like a total creep, Brian finally built up the nerve to knock on the door. Was he expecting an answer? Most likely. Was he expecting it to be Jae? Not really. He honestly hoped that whoever moved into this apartment wouldn't yell at him for disturbing them at 10PM. Brian was not exceptionally smart about choosing the time he was going to go confront Jae.

The cheap door let the sound of footsteps exit the apartment and Brian felt a single bead of sweat run down his neck. Was this supposed to be this stressful? The footfalls stopped directly in front of the door and the locks clicked before the door tentatively opened. Brian wanted to dig his own grave because it was not Jae who opened the door. No, it was an unfamiliar man with unruly hair and coke-bottle glasses.

"Can I help you?" He asked with an exhausted voice. That was when Brian realized he had been staring directly at him with his mouth wide open. This was not an ideal situation.

"No, uh, sorry to bother you. My friend used to live here." Brian backed away from the doorway with a bad excuse and a desperate want of escaping the judging eyes of the man. However, more footsteps echoed through the flat behind him and a painfully familiar face stared at him with something akin to disbelief.

"Brian?"

That was how Brian ended up on a sofa in Jae's living room across from the cause of his heartbreak. Jae had pulled up a collapsable chair from the kitchenette, and was gazing intensely at Brian from behind his new circle glasses. Brian was reluctant to meet his eyes, and found interest in the coffee table between them. The man who had answered the door had retreated to what Brian assumed was his bedroom.

Silence was the heaviest sound of all, and Brian knew it would be broken soon. Jae practically never shut up, and there was very little in this world that could stop his mouth from running. Sure enough, he wet his lips and began a conversation with quite possibly the worst starter ever. "So... It's been a while."

Brian wanted to shoot back with something venomous like _whose fault is that?_ but all his cowardly mind could turn into words was a pathetic: "Yeah, it has." Brian wondered why he even bothered to show up. It was stupid idea, and he had the suspicion it would only end with him getting hurt. Should he leave now before anything detrimental has a chance to happen? "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have showed up. I should just go." He rose from the sofa with a hurried voice.

"Brian," Jae's voice was gentle and warm and regretful, and it caused the overwhelmed man to stop in his tracks. "I'm sorry."

"For what?" Cue laughter that tasted bitter on Brian's tongue. Something snapped within him and he couldn't stop unfiltered thoughts from leaving his lips. "It's not your fault I fell in love with you, and it's definitely not your fault that you don't feel the same way about me." With that, he walked to the entranceway.

"I'm sorry for disappearing for five months without a word, I'm sorry for not having the courage to text you back, and I'm sure as hell sorry that I didn't come find you as soon as I got back." Jae spoke as Brian reached out for the door handle. His heart squeezed painfully at what he said next. "Listen, even if I don't feel the same way, it was still a dick move to go AWOL on you." Brian felt the blond amble up behind him along with his words. "You know, you never even asked if I loved you back."

"I think it's pretty clear." Brian turned to face Jae with a scoff. However, when their eyes met, he began doubting himself.

"Or maybe I was scared, which, for the record, still isn't a good enough excuse to run away." The way Jae's eyebrows drew together while delivering the explanation reminded Brian of when they used to share thoughts over coffee and he mapped the deepest parts of Jae's mind. "I should have been upfront, but I was afraid that it was a drunk whim, y'know. Something you'd forget by morning and I'd be hung up on for the rest of my life. God, that sounds so melodramatic."

"So you left me hanging for five fucking months? All this time, I blamed myself for making you leave, but you felt the same way about me and never thought _oh, maybe I should just ask him about it_?" Brian couldn't help the rise in his voice as his emotions spiked. "I really shouldn't have come."

He tugged on the doorknob and swiftly opened the door. Brian stomped down the corridor like a kid with a temper tantrum and left Jae in the dust, standing in the doorway with a stupefied expression. This wasn't the way it was supposed to be. He was supposed to show up to Jae's and apologize and agree to be friends. He wasn't supposed to get upset at Jae, who actually reciprocated his feelings, and then just leave.

Brian only really had one thought on his mind: never listen to Sungjin's advice ever again.

**Author's Note:**

> will i ever get around to a part two?? who knows
> 
> (i probably will eventually) (unless it doesnt really need a part two) (then i wont)


End file.
